Queer Celebrities Don't Owe You Anything: The Harms of Queerbaiting Accusations

On October 31st, eighteen year old Kit Connor of Netflix’s Heartstopper publicly came out as bisexual, a welcome addition to the list of 41 celebrities that have opened up about their LGBTQ+ identities in 2022. Bigotry and homophobia run rampant in the film and music industries, and whenever a celebrity comes out, it is an act of immense bravery and usually a cause for celebration for all members of the LGBTQ+ community. Kit Connor’s coming out, however, was treated very differently.

Connor’s character is bisexual, and the show centers around his coming out journey. Within a few weeks of the show’s release, fans became angry at the idea that a straight actor might be playing a bisexual role. These accusations grew after he was photographed holding hands with actress Maia Reficco, after which fans decided that Connor was “queerbaiting”, which refers to “a marketing ploy that suggests at queerness, but never actually delivers it.” Tweets included “He’s so straight and disgusting”, “daily reminder that @kit_connor is a straight wicked mf”, and “remove kit_connor from heartstopper now, he doesn’t deserve to be on that show, he’s just another white cis-straight man who gives the show a bad name and takes advantage of all of us, WE DON’T WANT HIM THERE ANYMORE”, each one of the tweets ending with #kitconnorgoawayfromheartstopper”. He eventually tweeted, “Back for a minute. I’m bi. Congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself. I think some of you missed the point of the show. Bye,” before deleting his Twitter account.

To state the obvious, based on the definition of the world, a real person cannot queerbait. Queerbaiting is the MCU teasing an openly gay character in the final Avengers movie and then having one thirty-second scene with a gay character, who is played by the movie’s straight director and used only to propel the main character’s journey forward (The Queer Queue). Queerbaiting is Riverdale using clips of straight characters making out with people of the same gender in order to garner a queer audience (Popbuzz), and then having little to no queer representation in their show. Queerbaiting is countless movies, television shows, and commercials promising LGBTQ+ representation and then mocking LGBTQ+ identities through jokes written by straight screenwriters. People will appropriate queer culture, using aspects of queer history and language for the sake of popularity and financial gain, refusing to acknowledge those who have been discriminated against for their very identities. Casting straight actors to portray one-dimensional stereotypes of queer characters is a demonstration of repeated ignorance in the film industry (James Corden in every role he’s ever played, for example). This explains why, despite increased diversity in Hollywood, there are so few LGBTQ+ actors nominated for Oscars. But an eighteen-year-old choosing not to publicly declare his sexuality? That’s not queerbaiting.

This obsession with the sexualities of actors is not an isolated incident, with Billie Elish and Harry Styles accused of “queerbaiting” and pushed to disclose their identities after various music videos and outfit choices. And it is born out of a legitimate desire to prevent queerbaiting and appropriation, both challenges uniquely faced by the LGBTQ+ community. It is sometimes damaging for queer youth to watch straight actors play LGBTQ+ characters, but bullying queer youth into coming out before they’re ready will not create more queer roles in movies or erase the biases held by casting directors. These biases and discriminatory attitudes are the very reason that many queer actors don’t feel safe to come out. The world is not a safe space for queer celebrities, and coming out should be an act of self-acceptance and love, not a response to accusations of queerbaiting-- accusations that are better pointed toward the proprietors of heterosexism and hate who currently still hold control of the film industry.

One part of Connor’s tweet is particularly striking; it reads, “I think some of you missed the point of the show”. A message central to Heartstopper is that it is impossible to determine one’s sexuality by the way they look, dress, or act. This is exactly what the authors of these hateful tweets unwittingly did; they assumed that Connor was straight because he hadn’t declared otherwise, which further perpetuates the idea that straightness is the “default” sexuality. The main character of the show, Charlie Spring, is bullied for an entire school year because his classmates decide to speculate about his sexuality and invade his privacy in order to find out information that they feel entitled to. Nearly every character on the show assumes that Conner’s character, Nick, is straight until he comes out. We, as consumers and fans, certainly shouldn’t be making assumptions about how these celebrtities identify, and despite the impression that we might get from the internet, are in no way entitled to any celebrity’s identity.

Moreover, this culture of entitlement seeps into everyday life and can cause extreme anxiety for queer youth. Young queer celebrities face cyberbullying and discrimination that most straught celebrities could only imagine having to deal, especially at such a young age. Many gay and transgender children and teens experience unwavering fear of being outed, as they risk familial rejection, expulsion from religious communities, healthcare discrimination, and intense bullying in school, to name a few. This constant fear and impacts of being outed are severe; 39% of queer people report having a mental illness, and are four times more likely than straight and cisgender people to commit suicide.

Speculating about the sexual orientation of favorite celebrities or peers can seem harmless, but it can have grave unintended consequences, starting with young actors like Connor being cyberbullied and forced to out themselves. These situations, even in the most accepting of communities, can quickly escalate and threaten the safety of young queer people. More importantly, nobody is entitled to anybody else’s identity, as coming out is a deeply personal choice, and should be celebrated whenever each individual feels safe and ready.