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"You're Not Like Other Girls"

Updated: Jan 19, 2022

“You’re special.” Good.

“You’re different.” A little weird, but possibly very sweet.

“You’re not like other girls.” Harmful, sexist, and a toxic mindset to be in.


Why do we use the phrase, “not like other girls”? In far too many books, shows, or movies with a female character, if that character is meant to be seen in a positive way, their personality is “not like other girls.” Society has enforced the belief that female protagonists must go against the norm to be interesting. They might wear jeans instead of dresses. They might hate the color pink. They might stay inside with a good book rather than go out shopping with their friends. The fact is, all of these traits are just like other girls, and girls who fit the norm can be just as interesting as anyone else. There are so many girls in this world with varying personalities that it’s impossible to call someone different from every single one of them, and thinking someone is “good” or “better” because they’re “not like other girls” is an insult to an entire gender. Not only is this statement painfully inaccurate, but it’s extremely offensive.


Female antagonists in the media are often portrayed as very feminine, or stereotypically like other girls. Great examples of this are Sharpay Evans from High School Musical and Regina George from Mean Girls, both of whom are the villains in their movies. Both characters are consistently shown wearing pink and having mostly pink possessions. This means that on top of non-feminine characters being presented as good, feminine characters are presented as inherently bad. This further pushes the idea that being feminine is a negative thing.


Why is it that if a girl loves Taylor Swift and rom coms they are seen as “basic” and both invalidated and teased for their interests, but if a boy loves football and cars, they’re seen as “cool?” What’s more, if a girl loves football and cars, they’re also seen as “cool,” because they are “not like other girls.” This enforces the belief that “boys” things are better than “girls” things. Being like a stereotypical girl is considered bad. Saying “you’re not like other girls” in a positive way tells girls that femininity is bad, and they should be actively working against it.


Not only are women told that their femininity is bad, but women who are masculine, or tomboys, are also frowned upon. More masculine attributes and behaviors are viewed as “unlady like” in a negative way. Girls are told to sit with their legs closed and let the men do the heavy lifting, while also being told that they can’t be too feminine. This gives girls an insanely narrow range of possible personalities when they attempt to be what society wants them to be: desirable.

Girls are born into a world against them, a world that tells them they should try to be someone else. Oftentimes, this prevents girls from doing things that they would otherwise enjoy doing. Their internalized misogyny from the “not like other girls” trope can stop them from signing up for ballet or wearing pretty dresses on fancy occasions, and disvalues girls who do so. Instead, they might opt for baseball and a blouse that their parents force them into, never knowing what could have been. Many girls are quick to change their favorite color from pink to blue the minute they begin school, when they’re introduced to a new community that conditions them to be what they deem “acceptable.” They don’t yet know that their self-worth isn’t defined by how cool other people think they are. Living in any community that tries to tell you who you should be is difficult on developing minds. Young girls are led to believe that they should listen to what society says, which plays a significant role in their childhoods. Some of these girls grow up and realize this mentality was wrong. They realize that they will be happier if they pursue what they are actually interested in, rather than what society tells them they should do. Whether a girl prefers more feminine things, more masculine things, or a blend of both, they’ll live to their fullest potential when doing the things that they love. All of them are “just like other girls.”


In actuality, being just like other girls is fun. Commenting, “UR HOT” on your friends’ Instagram posts and singing Olivia Rodrigo songs at the top of your lungs is a great way to enjoy being a teen. If you go on believing that being “not like other girls” is the better option, you’re likely to miss out on things you otherwise would’ve enjoyed. Whether a person prefers stereotypical “girls” things or stereotypical “boys” things does not change the person’s value, or make them better or different from anyone else. It is impossible to be “not like other girls,” and pushing to fit that generalization is damaging to both individuals and our whole society. If anything, we should be striving to be like other girls. Not all girls love Barbies and polaroid cameras, but all girls are strong, beautiful people, which is what we all aspire to be.

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Founded by Hannah Keselman and Talia Bloom

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