"You're Pretty for an Asian Girl:" Stereotypes Placed on Asian Women

When I was younger, I was taught to accept compliments as a way of being friendly. So when someone told me I was pretty for an Asian girl, I accepted their compliment and thought nothing of it. As more and more people called me pretty for an Asian, it made me question their intentions and what it really meant. I realized that it was more of a backhanded and racist comment than a compliment. This saying affirms and promotes the many harmful stereotypes Asian girls and women face on a daily basis.

Imagine if people wouldn’t date you because you had blue eyes, and you were constantly told that you were pretty “for a person with blue eyes.” Understand how backhanded and invalidating that would be; that does not only suggest that individuals with blue eyes are generally unattractive, but it also asserts that you are only pretty in terms of this group of people, not in terms of society as a whole. Eye color is a part of individuals’ identities just as much as me being Asian is to me. When people say “You’re pretty for an Asian girl,” it is a punch in my guts. Being Asian is something I just can’t change, and when people say that phrase it feels like they care more about my looks and race than my personality. The same goes for people that say, “I don’t really date Asians” or “I’ve never been on a date with an Asian girl before.” Why would being Asian make me so different from any other person? Many times when people say this, they do not want a genuine relationship, but instead, they want a careless hookup to see what Asians “are like.” This can make Asian girls feel unworthy and like they are not good enough to date because of their race.

Being an Asian girl combines the worlds of sexism and racism. As Asian women, we constantly have to deal with men seeing us as “exotic,” fetishizing Asian women, and assigning us harmful stereotypes. Asians are seen as “Dragon ladies,” strong, deceitful women with secrets, or “China Dolls,” docile women. The stereotypes of “Dragon lady” and “China Dolls” force a very binary view of Asian women. It tries to categorize many women from many different Asian cultures and countries into a small distorted view. Both stereotypes are extremely harmful and were created by the ideas of Western colonists. Many of the only encounters these colonists had with Asian women were prostitutes, and these encounters did not give them the full perspective on Asian women. Western colonists brought these skewed perspectives back to their homelands, and they spread the ideas of the “mysterious” and “exotic” women of Asia. These stereotypes are still present today and can be seen by men who fantasize and only date Asians because of their limited views on Asian women.

Stereotypes like these and comments like “You’re pretty for an Asian girl” are what make Asian girls today feel undervalued. Many girls, and people in general, just want to feel appreciated and valued by members of society. But it becomes hard for Asian women to feel that way when they are constantly being compared to the stereotypes, and having to look up to primarily White beauty standards. Just because we are a different race does not mean we need to be excluded. Working together we can stop using the phrase, “You’re pretty for a ____ girl”, and create an environment that values every girl no matter their race.